Monday, December 15, 2014

Early morning realization!

Dreams! They have a serious effect on you at some point of life. I have always dreamt of getting stuck in Tsunami and then waking up drenched in sweat. But today it was different. It was horrific. I did not dream Tsunami or anything apocalyptic. Instead I dreamt of going back to school, again. Taking up the same lessons under the same teachers. You must be wondering what is wrong or dreadly in going back to school. I meant I have spent 14 years of my life doing the same thing. Even it were deadly, by now I should have been completely fine. I wish I could tell you how my school life was. I wish I could throw light on how I somehow survived. I only wish!

So, in my 18 years of life I have come to realise that I am a complete misfit. Throughout my schooling and where ever I had been somehow ended up being the odd one out. No, it does not give a very amazing feeling. Despite my choice, irrespective of what I do, I still end up being a black sheep. I have spent my school life wandering alone, reading, writing. Sure I have had my share of fun and happiness but I go blank when I look back at my school and think about that one friend with who I could hang out. I think people outside have understood me better than my own classmates with whom I have shared the classroom over 10 years. Now this is something to feel sad about. Every time I cross my school, I put a quick glance at it. Now what I see is the stage, the building, the playground and a miniature model of me. I have come to realise how quick time has flown by. I still remember stepping into the school, 12 years back, wearing a blue uniform with my hair carefully plaited in two. Now here I am,,  with my hair cut short, wearing denim and a tee and with no trace of innocence.

Coming back to my dream, the whole synopsis is that my Hindi teacher scolds me in front of my entire class for not having studied for my exam. I do not know how to take it. She is one of my favorite teachers back from my school and it is a little hurting to even having dreamt of letting her down. After a very long brain storming analysis of my lethargic schedule I realise I actually am taking my upcoming examinations lightly. So instead of wailing over my wretched life, I better get back to my books. That way at least I would do some justice to people around me, who somehow still have high hopes. Hence, this is how I made up my mind to study
!


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