Love-sicken!

I miss him. I miss him more than I have missed anyone in my life. More than I could put it in words. More than I breathe every minute. Damn, I miss him. When I first met him I did not know things would lead here eventually. Sure there was a strong attraction from my side but that was okay, As days passed by attraction grew into admiration and admiration to love. I have had crushes and have fallen in and out of love constantly. But I think he is the first man who I deeply respect, profoundly admire and enormously love, knowing the fact that this is headed no where. But love is an emotion and it does not have to have a fairy tale ending always. We misinterpret the whole concept of love based on films. Love, like I already said is an emotion and it needs to be felt and lived. I am feeling it every second of my life and living every part of it. There is a part of me that wants to stay with him, get married and settle down but that is not right. Love can never be wrong but if my love wrecks someone else's life, what value would there be in my love?

I am very clear about few things after he has gone. Firstly, I love him. Secondly, we can never be together and should never be together. Thirdly, this feeling is irrevocable. Fourthly,there is a pain haunting me every second. So,I have no clue on what to do. I wish life was lot more simpler. Actually no. I wish life was a little less tragic.


So he is gone leaving a bundle of emotions behind. I wonder if he must be feeling the same? I wonder how be vents out his emotions. I think about him in the day and dream about him at night. Somehow, my life has circled around him. The best part of this whole screwed up emotions is, yes I am feeling bad but I am not crying nor am I depressed. My best friend says that I work in two ways. I either become very depressive or very philosophical. All I know is, as of now I am being love-sicken and I am liking it in all the ways!