Wednesday, January 21, 2015

The big step!

It just seems like a long long time. I feel a lot has changed. Beginning from the start, I have caught cold and there is a big story behind it. Life just throws you back so hard at times that you finally end up having cold. So my cold is the result of crying my heart's out. I did something that I never would have dreamt of doing. But I really did.

Why is it that I become all philosophical every time I am sad? May be the great philosopher's would have been a sad soul, I believe. Anyway, not to wander in thoughts, I told him that I don't really feel happy with him anymore. That is true. No matter how much I try, it just doesn't happen. He looks like dappled past wrecking my present. I am not to be blamed here. I really did try my best to work this relation. I tried everything and anything. But it only got worse. Every time I am with him, I come a shade closer to understanding that he is the last person on this planet who could make me happy. I might sound really bitchy, for the people who don't know me personally. But trust me, I tried putting with him for three long years. I really did try. Not that I don't love him. I do. I mean that is going to be. But there a stronger feeling against my love erupting for him.

I really start questioning what really went wrong. It gets really hard to know the answer but still ignore it. So, I genuinely feel that he has never loved me. In fact, he has never loved anyone in his entire life. He is so self consumed and egoistic. I don't say that makes him a bad person, but it sure makes him a very pathetic boyfriend. Now when I am writing, I feel a rage moving across my heart. So then, why on Earth was I with him for so long? I have no idea. I will never do. May be I was too afraid to embrace the transformation.

He never take me seriously. Never have and never will. I am waiting for another 5 months. Once I get into a really god college, the first thing I am going to do is to erect an statue on my name. I really deserve it. I does not feel good to write this blog post. I was the same girl who was head over heels in love with him. Now I just have hatred. Just rage and more rage!

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